The day She was Unusually Admired

I was putting on my kabney as I started circumambulating the Zangdhogpelri.

Sitting under the dragon-embroidered tent was jasmine of my flower. Like the mountains surrounding the sky, she, in her blue tego and blue strip-patterned kira, with moonlike face, was surrounded by her friends.

I couldn’t take eyes off her.

“Leave it for a moment. Let’s go inside first,” called Sherab, my friend. Knowing that I was following them clumsily, he has stopped. Luckily I haven’t bumped over him. If I did, it would have bitterly welcomed jeers from my other friends because even if I hadn’t, two friends by him looked back and smirked. My face blushed despite my well-tried drama.

It seemed like she was looking at me (actually, it always seems so to me), I smiled back and gestured. She was busy listening to the college’s President. “She has not looked at you”, warned my conscience. I experienced a greater embarrassment.

So, “Alright,” I stammered and proceeded to circumambulate the Zangdhogpelri. Like nothing has happened, I followed my friends. In the inside of me, I thought ‘Did she see me?’

I couldn’t help stealing sight of her as I moved away. All the way around, I was thinking about reaching near her and talking for some time. It would assuage the void I carried beneath because of not meeting her.

I understood that a minute with her would mean more than day’s long toil, but the pressing issue was that I went there to pray in the Zangdhogpelri, so first and main thing first!

I am glad I prayed for all, and didn’t become selfish. I am deeply happy and I believe so that she was not sent to make me greedy. I came out and walked to the corner. From there, I peeped and smiled at her every laughs, talks and flicker of her eyes.

A sigh, a very long and deep one.

Then gathered my scattered bits of courage and headed towards her. Each step I took was a thud. It resounded more and more as I approached her, troubling my senses that I felt like my feet were failing. If she had looked at me then, she would have spotted it in my frivolous approach. My eyes winked more than normal and with uneasiness. Thinking back, I am glad I went by her backside, for otherwise, my interim courage would have crumbled.

I asked how she was, when she came and few other stuffs I don’t remember. Anyway, how could I remember? With uncomfortable nervousness, I was too tensed to listen well. Her friends and new faces around her, who were building more economic topics before them added to the failure of my attempt.

I loved to be there long over the day, even though behind her. But, men! All is time bound. I had to leave. So, I pulled and dragged myself out of the tent. I receded towards the Zangdhogpelri and started circumambulating.

Sometime later, we were before the entrance stair of the Zangdhogpelri. She was there by the stair and leaning against the scooter parked at the corridor. She called me to have the tea she already had filled. I smiled without a reply, then told my friends to go for tea. She pulled me and gave the tea and snacks. I was humbly happy.

I had to leave the place and move back to hostel with my friends, but I had a plan. I wanted to be back. Even if I meet her in the college, that coincidence would be short lived with our pressing schedules. I wanted to see her free and in the most relaxed of forms. So, I wanted to be back and with her in this free time.

She was with her EVS friends, as jolly as ever (I haven’t seen her out of this mood anyway), when I came back. I helped my friends in the religious chores. A friend of mine, a girl, had lost her mom. I even know her mom; they called me for a lunch when I was in my twelfth standard. I helped her with butter lamps. I still feel I haven’t help her enough. I tried to make her forget, not her mother, but the unnecessary feelings about her mom with family jokes, future dreams, humorous comments and … But I was careful not to cross limit. When she thanked me with a little hug, I made sure I received it well and she felt satisfied, for her mother’s sake.

Lunch time, and we moved in a single file towards the dinner table. I joined the EVS group, I had to for I had not much acquaintances there. Moreover, I wanted to be by her. We sat by the tent, on the open green ground.

She came with her food. Her friends got settled with their food. They joked with their foods and even more than this topic. But she won’t sit. I felt a bit odd, but I stayed, I won’t shy myself away.

When the tshechu inside got over, we rearranged the things and readied to go back to hostel. I thanked the day for its beautiful day stored for me. A boy, her acquaintance, had a camera. I pestered him to snap us, she and I. I am dark and she, fair enough to make me black, and even though the photo has it that I was like a background to her, I was happy beyond this fact.

Then I thanked her and lost into the night towards my hostel.

ILiveLove